A fat, ugly, cross-eyed, girl came dancing up next to me at a party.
　　"So, where are you from, handsome?" she smiled.
　　I said, "Earth, what about you?"
　　一个又丑又胖还斗鸡眼的妹子在趴踢上凑到我的身边开始扭着跳起舞来。
　　“嘿，帅哥，你是哪里来的呀～”她笑着问我。
　　我回答：“地球。你呢？
　　A fat, ugly, cross-eyed又丑又胖还斗鸡眼
　　handsome帅哥

　　How school works:
　　In class: 2+2=4.
　　Homework: 2+4+2=8.
　　Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass.
　　所谓学校。
　　上课内容：2+2=4
　　作业内容：2+4+2=8
　　考试内容：小强有四个苹果，他自己吃了一个，给了朋友一个，请计算出太阳的质量。

　　I can usually judge how attractive a woman is by how many times my wife calls her a whore.
　　我一般判断一个妹子有多漂亮的方法，就是看我老婆叫了她几次“骚货”。
　　attractive a woman迷人的；招人喜爱的的女人
　　whore妓女，男妓；性关系不道德的女子

　　Imagine how many people are going to commit suicide this December, simply because they believe the world will really end.
　　On a related note: Imagine how much higher the world's average IQ will be come January.
　　请静下心来，想一想在这个12月中，会有多少人因为相信世界末日真的会来到，而选择自杀。
　　说到这个：也请想一想来年1月，全世界的平均智商会提高多少。
　　(清洗弱智的时候到了！！)
　　Imagine 想象一下
　　suicide 自杀