同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《雅思语法精讲【随到随学班】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
“Because it was made of iron and glass.”：开头的 “Because” 引导原因状语从句，不能单独成句，这里可将 “Because” 去掉，使其成为一个简单句。或者如果是前一句的原因，直接用逗号，becase小写来连接；
“from various parts in the world”：应改为 “from various parts of the world” ，“of” 表示所属关系，“世界的不同地方”。
“as well as there were a great deal of machinery.”：“as well as” 连接并列成分，这里可改为 “and there was a great deal of machinery as well” ，与前面的句子构成并列关系。
“came to European”：“European” 是形容词 “欧洲的” 或名词 “欧洲人”，这里表示 “来到欧洲”，应改为 “came to Europe”。
“After the exhibition was moved south London”：“south London” 前缺少介词 “to”，表示 “搬到…… 地方” 用 “move to...” ；另外 “After the exhibition” 这句话不是很清晰，可改为 “After the exhibition, it was moved to South London”，用 “it” 指代 “The Crystal Palace”，使句子更清晰。
“where remained one of the most famous buildings in the world”：这个从句缺少主语，应在 “where” 后添加 “it”，指代 “The Crystal Palace”，即 “where it remained one of the most famous buildings in the world”
that it was possible可以用在“So many visitors came by boat and train that it was possible to earn enough profits to build colleges and museums.” 这里哦~
希望对同学有帮助~