同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《英语零基础直达大学六级【全额奖学金班】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
The Titanic was sinking slowly first, so the passengers was unware of the seriousness of the situation.
第二个was改成were

As sudden order to abandon ship was unexpected, everybody were unprepared at all.
这句话表达不够自然，而且前后意思有点重复，可以改成：Everybody was shocked by the unexpected order to abandon ship. 突然下达弃船命令，大家都感到很震惊。

Husbands were admiring the colourful sky with his wifes and children.
his 改成their, husbands可以改成Men

Writers were writing articles seeing the rough water.
seeing可以改成by，在水边

Of course, most of people were asleep soundly.
of course是口语词，可以去掉

The cold was bitterly and many passengers were still in their night clothes.
The cold was bitterly  改成It was bittterly cold

They swimming in the water struggled to get into the lifeboats, but most of them were already full.
swimming改成swam，struggled改成struggling，注意谓语在主语后面

There were cries of despair, because people in the water watched the boats miving away.
moving注意拼写哦

祝同学学习进步~