同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《英语零基础直达大学六级【全额奖学金班】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
There were a great number of people which came from overseas.
which came去掉

My first impression was the Statue of Liberty.
“我的第一印象是自由女神像。”这句话就像没说完，可以改成I first saw the Statue of Liberty.

It was very great and extraordinary and gave me a surprise.
这里可以说It was very great, extraordinary, and impressive.

I immediately took some beautiful photographs and sent to my friends using my phone.
sent后面加宾语them

There were many skyscrapers which was as high as the sky was.
which后面这个句子和skyscrapers有点重复的感觉，可以改成which towered into the clouds高耸入云

Besides, there were many long bridges, moder cars and beautiful women.
modern注意拼写

I really wanted to make my home in here.
副词here前的介词in可以省略

祝同学学习进步~