同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《Hitalk流利生活口语1v6精品超小班【150次卡】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学好，
     Today I would like to talk about some important life events about myself. There are so many important moments in our life，such as the first day you go to school，your first love and first job and first baby，even the first time you eat ice cream and so on. (这里已经是完整的句子里，需要用句号) I am sure you would never forget this feeling at this time.
语法上没什么问题，但是词汇有重复，英语里一般注重词汇的多样性，同一个意思在同一句中会用不用的词汇表示，这也是一般考试中对于词汇量及词汇运用更高级别的要求。 同学可以积累一些同义词，变换着句式来表达。important, 可以用其他一些意思相近的词，如vital, be of great importance, essential， influential等。

    For me，I also have some important life events and turning points.Before I went to university，I have never been separated from my family.（这里应该用句号）When I studied in the university，I missed my family very much。（这里应该用句号）I was immature at that moment，but I got used to it after a while. （这里应该用句号）I became independent. （这里应该用句号）my roommates are very friendly. 用句号的地方也可以用连词，连接两个简单句。

     When I went to work，when I first day in the office，（一个when引导从句就行了）nothing is（时态一般保持统一，都用过去时） familiar，I was nervous，but my boss and coworkers are very kind ，they helped me a lot，that I felt comfortable with the time，（这句有语法错误，that可以改为and）I worked hard and I love my job，so I have been working in this area for 7 years.
标点错误，英语不能一逗到底。

     The third turning point for me is when my son was born，I was excited and tired，after I became a mother，I was responsible and understood how to take care of him，This is a big work ，but I love it，he is my whole life，I hope he will have a bright future and I can accompany him forever
还是标点的问题，结尾句号也不能丢。

建议同学复习下英语中简单句和复合句的语法点，以及逗号和句号的使用，以及常用的连词。

祝每天进步！