同学你好，该知识点来自沪江网校《英语零基础直达大学六级【双11专享班】》的课程，想要更系统的学习，欢迎进入课程学习。不仅可以和更多的同学一起学习，而且还有老师、助教随时的学习指导和知识点解答哦。

同学你好~
Every mistake, every setback, every time people refuse us, I take it as a learning curve.
可以说I take every mistake, every setback and every refusal as a learning curve.  但是不明白这里为什么要说是learning curve学习曲线，也许可以说learning opportunity 学习机会

To me, being rejected by people is natural. If you are accepted by people, that's not natural.
To me改成I think比较好，are always accepted总是被接受，这样会更确切，not natural可以改成unnatural

Your today is not decided by your yesterday, but is decided by what you have done 15 years ago.  
15 years ago 15年前，可以改成for the last 15 years 过去15年来

your life is decided by your today’s efforts
改成your efforts today

We have to be optimistic, persistent, not complain, we should learn culture and value, and I believe we come to this world for learning.
not complain和optimistic差不多，可以去掉，改成We have to be optimistic and persistent
逗号改成句号

这篇文章的意思不够连贯，“希望自己是马云—被拒绝是学习曲线—被拒绝是很自然的事情—今天的努力成就未来—从马云那里认识到学英语很重要—要乐观坚持，学习文化和价值，为学习而生”，感觉几句之间意思的衔接不够紧密，可以把中间“被拒绝是学习曲线—被拒绝是很自然的事情—今天的努力成就未来”这部分去掉。同学也可以根据自己的写作目的等具体斟酌一下。

祝同学学习进步~