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"Congratulations to Miss North Carolina, Kristen Dalton, who won the Miss USA pageant last night. So, I guess Republicans now have a VP candidate for 2012." --Jimmy Fallon
“热烈祝贺北卡罗来纳小姐Kristen Dalton，她昨晚赢得了美国小姐的冠军。所以我猜共和党人们现在有了一个2012年副总统的候选人。” ——吉米·法伦
"Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, once two of the most powerful men in this country, are now suffering from Balzheimer's disease. Why didn't I see it before? Balzheimer's is a terrible illness that attacks the memory and gives its victims the balls to attack others for things they themselves made a career of. There is no known cure." --Jon Stewart
“ 迪克·切尼和卡尔·罗夫，曾经是这个国家最有权势的两个人，现在得了老年痴呆。我以前怎么就没注意到呢？老年痴呆是一种很严重的疾病，会攻击人的记忆力让病人胡说八道为了他们有所建树的东西来攻击别人，这种病目前来说还不能治愈。”——乔·斯图尔特
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